January 14, 2025 - Blaine Beyer

celebrating sobriety

As of 10:49 p.m., January 14, 2025, I have been sober for exactly 5 years. 

That was the very moment I finished my last drink. My wife still laughs at me because I called her and told her, "I had to get through this last one."

I had just returned from my first-ever AA meeting. The words, "Hi, I'm Blaine, and I'm an alcoholic," twisted out of my mouth for the first time. I was terrified that, for the first time in a long time, I was telling the truth. 

I don't know why I was insistent on remembering the exact time, scribbled on a scrap of paper on my bedside table. But at that very moment, I knew I had a choice to make. Keep drowning myself or finally come up for air. 

My struggle with addiction and substance misuse has never been a secret, as much as I delusionally thought it was. However, it is one of the hardest things I have ever had to talk about. I am not proud of that part of my life, and there are still moments when I feel deep shame over struggling through one of the most difficult seasons of my life. 

I didn't even celebrate my fourth milestone last year because the cloud of humiliation returned and was so dark. Even though each day that passed was a gift, I was so reluctant to celebrate it. 

So, why not continue to keep it as hidden as possible and keep collecting days privately?

I have slowly chosen to be more open about this part of my story to show others it's possible to not only pull through, but to overcome. And, honestly, so many people saw me at my worst -- why not have the chance to let them see me grow into my best? 

I would not be the man I am today had I not put the drink down. I wouldn't have had the chance to be a healthy husband, proud parent, or passionate communicator -- and so many other marvelous things. 

I lost so much in the middle of my fight with addiction. Nonetheless, working to clear my heart and mind, and gaining ground in a healthier place has given me so much more. 

What does that look like day-to-day? 

Instead of going home to crash on the couch, I get to play football with my boys before dinner. 

Instead of eating scraps of whatever is left in the fridge, I get to make homemade pizzas with my family. 

Instead of having a 12-pack of beer on the floorboard of my car, it's a case of Coke Zero. 

Instead of destroying my body from the inside out, I get to fuel it and be energized for the days ahead. 

Instead of slowly killing myself, I get to LIVE. 

And that's all I can wish for anyone going through a similar struggle. I hope everyone can find the freedom to truly live their life to the fullest. 

If you need to find support, please reach out. And if you aren't sure where to start, find someone just a few steps ahead of you. Find a way to do the work. And remember, you are not alone. 

SAMHSA's National Helpline 

SAMHSA's National Helpline is a free, confidential, 24/7, 365-day-a-year treatment referral and information service (in English and Spanish) for individuals and families facing mental and/or substance use disorders. 1-800-662-HELP (4357) 

If you need emotional support, reach out to the national mental health hotline: 988.